Let's say that you're an avid film-goer and you want to test your level of tolerance in terms of the type of bad taste, vile and disgusting screen images you can bear. Certain people would direct you to the zombie/cannibal movies made in Italy in the 1970s and if you took their advice you would indeed find yourself faced with some pretty unpleasant viewing material. However, such films are also very poorly made, with an emphasis on exploitation and somewhat shaky and grainy camera work. For an equally vile and disturbing film, made with considerably more skill and elegance (not to mention aspects of a Jacobean revenge play to please the intelligensia) look no further than The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. This movie is just as outrageous, nauseating and horrific as any Italian cannibal flick, but in a breathtakingly artistic way.

Michael Gambon gives a menacing portrayal as a vulgar gangster with a penchant for rich food. He is a regular customer at an elegant restaurant where he and his cronies, and his unhappy wife, wine and dine while exchanging tales of crime and debauchery. One evening his wife claps eyes on a rather geeky librarian at a nearby table; she fancies him immediately and before you know it the pair are embarking on a torrid sexual affair. Gambon discovers that his wife is having this affair so he has the librarian killed but his wife teams up with a cook from the restaurant to come up with a terrifying revenge plot.

It's impossible to reveal the details of the revenge plot without spoiling the film, but suffice to say that it is unforgettable, revolting and ingenious. Greenaway directs the film in his customary unique visual style, but the narrative is more viewer-friendly than usual in his films, making this one of his more watchable and entertaining offerings. The actors give great performances (brave performances, too, considering the explicit full frontal nudity they are asked to do). The music richly complements the scenes on screen. This film is remarkable on many levels but it's definitely adults-only stuff and even then it's not for all tastes. However, if you want something a little different and you're not afraid to be seriously disturbed, this will do nicely.

I have a problem with art-house films like THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE & HER LOVER and it's that the directors of such fare are often totally ignorant when it comes to decent film-making. Sure, they obsess over designer costumes and make-up, and they focus intently on the colour palette of their movies, but when it comes to movie-making staples like pace, character, dialogue, and intrigue, they fail.

Peter Greenaway is such a director. This controversial 1989 opus is known for its gruesome scenes of cannibalism, yet take away the controversy and there's absolutely nothing here to rate this. The running time is as slow as a snail, and much of it is made up of scenes of the repulsive Michael Gambon character berating his wife and associates.

Greenaway's a better director than he is a writer, because the script is terrible. We get the gist of Gambon's character and the situation with his wife in the first ten minutes, yet two hours of non-action go by in which we're bludgeoned over the head with his sheer monotonous brutish nature. The whole film takes place on a cheap-looking set that quickly becomes boring, Helen Mirren spends most of the running time naked and forgets how to act, and luminaries such as Tim Roth and Ciaran Hinds are wasted.

Yes, there are a few shocking scenes, yet cannibalism is dealt with in a much more entertaining fashion in both B-movie fare (such as Pete Walker's 1974 FRIGHTMARE) and Hollywood flicks (like RAVENOUS). I'm not against arty films where nothing happens, but there has to be substance to go with the style; Nic Roeg's DON'T LOOK NOW is a case in point: one of my favourite films of all time, but hardly action-packed. THE COOK... just wastes a great deal of potential and proves to be another case of The Emperor's New Clothes.

Brutish loud gangster Albert Spica (Michael Gambon) had taken over a high-class restaurant run by chef Richard Boarst. He often takes his suffering high-class wife Georgina (Helen Mirren) and his thugs to the restaurant. She has an affair with regular restaurant customer bookseller Michael during their dinners. Mitchel (Tim Roth) is one of Albert's idiot thugs.

This takes place mostly in and around the restaurant in a semi-surreal world. Essentially it looks like filming a stage play. The camera style limits the visceral intensity despite the violence. It is something different and interesting. I am very fond of food porn. This takes it to another level in the different area code. The problem with tension is that everything seems inevitable. Spica is an one-note character. Georgina's affair is seen by everybody in the kitchen. It's inevitable that they would be found out and Spica's action is predictable. Georgina does do crazy original stuff in the last act but it doesn't feel satisfying. It's hard to feel for the character at first. It's not until the last act that her barriers come down. This is an unique film but may not be for the masses.