So sick of seeing badly written reviews where all people do is moan moan moan about bad acting and plot. This movie contains lots of sex and cheesy lines. If you don't like that don't watch it in the first place and then come on here whining about it in your 'review'. Im glad to finally see a comic book style action movie that isn't aimed at kids or adults stuck at 12 years old in their head. There is a lot of boobs in this movie, and it isn't some stupid super-cheesy college jock movie with acting as lame as in Pirana 3D. Think along the lines of Tankgirl (Angelina Jolie) if you ever saw that only much more entertaining, full of sexually-orientated quips and actions scenes. That fighting scene where the girl who is on the ground sits up and bites between the legs of the girl who is sitting over her her: LOL!
Bitch Slap
2009
Action / Comedy / Crime / Thriller
Bitch Slap
2009
Action / Comedy / Crime / Thriller
Keywords: dark comedyspyb moviestrippernun
Plot summary
When three curvaceous babes, stripper Trixe, business executive Hel, and the feisty ex-con Camero, arrive at a desert hideaway to steal a stash of diamonds from an underworld kingpin, things quickly spiral out of control. Allegiances are switched, truths are revealed, criminals are unmasked and nothing is quite what it seems as the fate of the world is precariously balanced among this trio of sexy femmes fatales.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
Director
Top cast
Tech specs
720p.BLU 1080p.BLUMovie Reviews
Brilliant, funny and sexy
NO ONE WILL GET HURT
Three bodacious young ladies are out in the desert looking for the treasure that belongs to Gage( Michael Hurst). The story is being told as a flashback from the opening scene. During this time we have repeated flashbacks to bring out plot points. As a grindhouse, the plot tends to be secondary to the violence, blood, and male fantasy. This one is no different as the plot is immaterial to the enjoyment of the individual scenes with nuns and a Japanese school girl with a killer yo-yo.
The treasure belongs to the legendary "Pinky" a Keyser Söze type character.
The film is for people who like to watch cat fights and cleavage. The girls douse themselves with water at the 38 minute mark. There is the typical grindhouse type of humor and those with a stop motion might want to check out the writing on Trixie's (Julia Voth) panties: Puffy P****. I love the girls in a vintage T-bird, a muscle machine for chicks.
The film is a grindhouse romp.
Parental Guide: F-bomb. girl/girl sex. Rather disappointing brief nudity (Saranne Lund)
Another disappointing grind-house homage.
Three women with bad attitudes and awesome cleavages—Camero (America Olivo),Trixie (Julia Voth) and Hel (Erin Cummings)—attempt to locate a fortune in diamonds, but are pursued by vicious villains working for the mysterious underworld figure known as Pinky.
Judging by this film's opening credits, which features short clips of classic exploitation movies, writer/director Rick Jacobson is a big fan of the grind-house genre. What he isn't, however, is a particularly good film-maker, his approach being to throw all of the adolescent fantasies he has ever harboured into one messy script, assemble a great set of tits and ass, and hope for the best. Unfortunately, on this occasion, 'the best' just simply isn't good enough: unlike a director like Tarantino, who has made a successful career out of exploitation homages, Jacobson doesn't appear to have the necessary talent to back up his fanboyism.
Admittedly, an hour and a half of watching big-breasted bimbos indulge in lesbian trysts, fire big guns, battle over-the-top bad-guys and partake in water-fights is never going to be a complete waste of time, but the result really should have been a whole lot more fun than this. The dreadful script is largely to blame, the cringe-worthy dialogue consisting of endless, supposedly amusing slang-terms for the vagina and assorted ridiculous one-liners. Similarly, the action is intentionally over-the-top, like a live-action cartoon, but it is rarely exciting, very predictable and rapidly becomes extremely tiresome.
I rate Bitch Slap 4 out of 10, plus a very generous half point each for the Japanese killer in the school-girl outfit with the razor yo-yo and the well choreographed prolonged punch up between Camero and which involves lots of pain inflicted to the nether regions (listen out for the comedy cat miaow sound effect—my favourite moment in the whole film!).