Count Dracula (Udo Kier) can only drink the blood of virgins or he becomes violently ill. He comes upon a family with a bunch of virgin daughters. He plans to have each of them but the family's horny gardener (Joe Dellesandro) is after them too...for sex!

Silly but you just can't stop watching. Like it's companion piece ("Andy Warhol's Frankenstein") the story is silly with over the top acting and gore. Kiers convulsions after drinking the blood of non-virgins is SO disgusting they're hilarious. And (in the X rated version) there are some fairly explicit sex scenes between Dellesandro and the daughters. And Dracula's death at the end is just great! Silly and stupid but very funny. Try to catch the X rated version.

Count Dracula (Udo Kier) has encountered a problem of the modern world -- it is dreadfully short on virgins, and his desire to drink pure blood is becoming more difficult. His assistant Anton (Arno Juerging) suggests they go to Italy, because the country's Roman Catholic faith will be sure to keep the populace clean. This assumption may not be worth much.

One may wonder about the beginning -- how can Dracula see what he is doing while he grooms himself in front of the mirror? But if thoughts like this trouble you, you are taking this film too seriously. This film is neither serious nor horror.

Joe Dallesandro plays the servant who has studied Marxism and the Russian revolution, and tries to interject his thoughts on class and such throughout the film. Professor Maurice Yacowar believes his words "satirize the political pretensions of the European art cinema", which may be so. His beliefs translate to action in the latter part of the film. When he is is not talking, he is butt naked, making love to one sister while another watches and waits her turn. Sometimes the sisters love each other... and it is not as weird as it sounds for some reason.

I am curious how this film connects to Dario Argento, if at all. The cinematographer is Luigi Kuveiller, who has worked with Argento. And both Udo Kier and Stefania Casini went on to make "Suspiria" together with Argento. Is this merely a coincidence, is the talent pool in Italy very small, or is there something more? Unfortunately, when I met Casini last month (March 2011) it did not occur to me to ask.

I had picked up this film for the Roman Polanski cameo as a drinking peasant, as I am currently working through his filmography. Simply put, do not get this for Polanski -- a cameo is all you get. Luckily, it is enjoyable on its own. The humor is great, especially with the socially awkward assistant, the sex is as raw as you would expect fro ma Warhol-approved film, and seeing Kier so young and with his desirable accent is wonderful.

Mike Mayo spreads the rumor that writer Paul Morrissey may not have been the actual director, with those duties being handled by Antonio Margheriti. I make no personal claim on that issue. The Criterion DVD has audio commentary with Morrissey and Kier... perhaps this clears it up?

I would not say this is a "great" film by any means, but fans of Udo Kier or Stefania Casini need to see it. And it is a rare modern twist on the vampire myth that has some social commentary, though of what sort I am not sure... this is by no means a condemnation of immoral behavior, yet is it promoting such things? You will have to watch and judge for yourself.

Claims that this is humorous, sexy, gory and romantic have escaped me in this umpeenth visit to the world of Bram Stoker's count Dracula. He's played here by the sullen Udo Kier who is initially seen painting his lips dark red and darkening his hair so he doesn't look elderly even though he didn't look elderly before. He needs to go to Italy (accompanied by his seemingly suave assistant, Arno Jürging) to find what he refers to as a "wirgin" so he will not die. When he arrives in Italy, is obviously ailing even more and has seizures over his lack of "wirgin" plasma. Invited to stay at the household of broke nobleman Vittorio de Sica, he finds that Italy does not really have many "wirgins" and when he drinks the blood of one of the sisters who has claimed to be one, he finds himself vomiting up blood after turning green when her claims are proven false. The daughters, given some of the most bizarre first names in film history (Saphira and Rubinia for example),aren't exactly the most ravishing of females either. Kier's vomiting sequences after tasting tainted non-wirginal blood are ridiculously over the top. Is this supposed to be a funny, tongue-in-cheek (or teeth in neck) sequence?

The real eye candy here is Joe Dallesandro who seems to be gallivanting with all of the sisters (or trying in the case of the "wirgins" who remain untouched),and this provides some eroticism in the film's theme. Dallesandro certainly does provide the sexuality that makes this erotic, but his character is very dour, completely socialist and adds dimensions to the classic tale that seems completely out of place. The mixture of accents at the Italian estate are also distracting with the mother obviously speaking perfect English and some of the daughters going in and out of perfect English to an Italian dialect. It is beautiful to look at but there really isn't much there that you couldn't find in any of the earlier films or some of the better versions that would follow up years later. The ending though immediately had me quoting lines from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" but as this came out first, it obviously did not rip that off. it is just a shame that the comedy comes out of nowhere and truly makes no sense in regards to the structure of the rest of the film. The horror and romantic moments are almost operatic in perspective but when it resorts to farce, it reminds me of a child having a tantrum where nobody pays attention.