Sylvester Stallone's remake of the British classic GET CARTER has gone down in history as one of the biggest flops and worst remakes ever. Watching it now, I can see why; it's a completely forgettable film that might just pass muster as an average straight-to-video thriller but which feels like a catastrophe when compared to the original.

The problems with this film are myriad, but most noticeably missing is the sense of location. GET CARTER made excellent use of its northeastern locations, whereas this remake just has an ordinary Seattle backdrop that looks like a hundred other thrillers from the era. It's not one of Stallone's finest performances either; he looks constipated throughout the production, which is a surprise given that he'd made the excellent COP LAND fairly recently which had contained one of his greatest performances.

The casting of Michael Caine in a crucial role just reinforces how tedious and average this thriller is. Sure, the plot is fast paced, but the direction is hollow and the action sequences feel sub-par, somehow. I notice that director Stephen Kay has wisely stuck to television fare after the double whammy disaster of this and BOOGEYMAN (which was even worse).

Jack Carter (Sylvester Stallone) is a Las Vegas mob casino collector. He returns to Seattle for his brother Richie's funeral. Jack is suspicious and starts investigating. Richie's wife Gloria (Miranda Richardson) and daughter Doreen (Rachael Leigh Cook) are not close to Jack. Richie ran Cliff Brumby (Michael Caine)'s club. Cliff claims that the mysterious Geraldine (Rhona Mitra) is Richie's mistress. Jack finds bottom feeder Cyrus Paice (Mickey Rourke) now as a local porn king working for wealthy Jeremy Kinnear (Alan Cumming). Meanwhile Jack's boss back in Vegas is looking for him.

Sly tries to be interesting and gritty. It's laying down some heavy style with limited success. The plot doesn't really move. There is a little bit of fun with Sly going up against Mickey Rourke. It would be better to give more drive to Jack's mission. It needs something that could raise the stakes like kidnapping Doreen. This needs to have a mission other than just investigating Richie's death. If that's all there is, then he should start breaking fingers and busting heads. It also means that he could drop the case at any time. This is a scatter shoot of villains and random dark stylistic choices.

I guess my disadvantage here is in not seeing the original film. With that in mind, I noticed a darker, though not as expressive Sylvester Stallone parlay his Carter character into a revenge machine out to get the goons who murdered his brother. Unlike John Rambo, who was minding his own business (at least in the first film) when his buttons were pushed, this incarnation is looking for trouble right from the get go. Though he might have had a clever one liner or two, I didn't get any sense of charisma from Jack Carter, and you have to wonder if the problem with the character was with Stallone's interpretation or the director's. So I guess that's why you had all the fancy camera work, slick angles and stylized editing, especially in the second half where it looked like the original picture might have transitioned into something else. I liked John McGinley as Connie-Conna-Wanna-Do-Da-Day, and Mickey Rourke, already beefing up for "The Wrestler". Some decent fight action and car chase stuff here, but you've probably seen it before. But it's not so bad I wouldn't say stay away to anyone other than Michael Caine.