A brother (Michael Welch) and sister (Molly Quinn) battle a witch (Lara Flynn Boyle) who lures teenagers into her suburban home with her special blend of marijuana where she then proceeds to kill and eat them to maintain her youth and beauty.
I was mildly drawn to this title by the cast, and then further encouraged by Aaron Christensen's review calling this a "spliff riff" and giving it modest comments. Frankly, with this sort of concept, anything better than complete rubbish is all we can ask for... and this definitely ranks above anything in Full Moon's "Evil Bong" series.
Some things about the film are terrible. Well, okay, many things. The lack of plot, the lack of humor, the weird subplot about the witch being a Nazi refugee that never seems to even get addressed... nor do we find out why she is involved in the marijuana business in the first place...
It was great to see Cary Elwes in a cameo (even if he does not get a credit on IMDb for some reason). And it is nice to see Michael Welch branching out (we had another horror, "Demented", released about the same time). Unfortunately, this can only be seen as a step down for Lara Flynn Boyle... are her days on red carpet over?
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked
2013
Action / Comedy / Horror
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked
2013
Action / Comedy / Horror
Plot summary
The pothead Ashton Crawford and his girlfriend Gretel are smoking in her room special marijuana called Black Forest supplied by the drug dealer Manny and produced by an old lady named Agnes that lives in Pasadena. Gretel's brother Hansel arrives home and Gretel tells that she will bake gingerbread cookie while Ashton will go directly to Agnes to buy more Black Forest. However Agnes is a witch and captures Ash to eat his flesh and drain his youth to maintain youth. Gretel seeks her boyfriend out and suspects of Agnes, but the police officers Ritter and Hart do not give credit to her words since Ritter knows that Ash is a pothead. Meanwhile the gang that supplies weed to Manny learns that he is selling Black Forest to his costumers and they threaten him and their leader Jorge sends a message to Agnes through Manny. However, the drug dealer is turned into a zombie by Agnes and Jorge and his gang pay a visit to her and are also turned into zombies. Soon Gretel and Manny's girlfriend Bianca decide to break into Agnes' house and they learn that she is a powerful witch. Meanwhile Hansel goes to Agnes's house to look for his sister.
Uploaded by: OTTO
Director
Top cast
Tech specs
720p.BLU 1080p.BLUMovie Reviews
Decent
DON'T TOUCH MY GINGERBREAD HOUSE
The plot is simple. Agnes (Lara Flynn Boyle) is a witch who grows some righteous weed called "Black Forest" that all the kids crave. She allows them into her house and extracts their youth from them, which causes their demise.
The film starts out like a fairly decent stoner film, break out the milk and gingerbread cookies. It has some decent comedy, dark comedy, and slasher moments. About half way through the film the writers got a block.I kept waiting for Hansel (Michael Welch) and Gretel(Molly C. Quinn) to come together and turn this into a good witch fight. As it turns out Hansel is a minor character while Molly has to carry the film by herself. Don't get me wrong, she did well for the lousy lines she was scripted, with her red hair and looks making me ache for Laura Prepon. It was a good idea that was squandered.
Parental Guide: F-bombs. No sex or nudity. Not even a simple cat fight between Lara and Molly rolling around on the floor.
Entertaining comedy/horror based on the Brothers Grimm tale with Molly Quinn
A witch (Lara Flynn Boyle) is living in a mansion in Pasadena, California, making potent marijuana in her basement and preying on the local stoners. Molly Quinn & Michael Welch play the titular siblings who investigate, along with a Latina friend (Bianca Saad).
"Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" (2013) is an amusingly horrific take on the German fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm, envisioning events in the modern day with the witch preying on potheads. Witch-themed films were trendy at the time and this flick took advantage of the contemporaneous big budget "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" (2013),as did a few other mockbusters: "Witchslayer Gretl" (2012),The Asylum's "Hansel & Gretel" (2013) and Lionsgate's "Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft" (2013).
While it's not in the same league as the kick-axx "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," it's amusing enough in its one-dimensional scope. Ultra-cute Molly is a highlight and worth the price of admission while Flynn Boyle hams it up as the perversely ee-vil sorceress. There's a nice balance of amusement and horror.
The film runs 1 hour, 26 minutes and was shot in Los Angeles.
GRADE: B-