"Mean Machine" is an all Brit flick about a former soccer hero who goes to prison and is coerced into leading the prisoners to victory in a football match against the guards. A schizophrenic film which straddles the comedy/drama divide like two ballroom dancers listening to different music; one doing salsa, the other a waltz, neither very well, "MM" manages okay art and technicals but fails in execution. May have some appeal among soccer enthusiasts. Wait for broadcast. (D+)

If sometimes just lacking the creativity and vitality of the 1974 film, this is an above average sports/prison drama. There are some flaws though, one or two of the characters are thinly sketched, the plot is a touch simplistic and the first half hour just lacked the energy of the latter half of the film. That said, this is well worth watching. The whole film is excellently filmed and directed, and the soccer scenes are very well done. The final third is absolutely riveting, and really makes you want to see what the outcome is at the end. The music score is fine, and the performances are very good. Vinnie Jones is convincing in his first leading role, and David Kelly is stellar as the benevolent Doc. The best pieces of casting are (despite the accent) Jason Statham as maverick keeper and Jason Flemying's rather unconventional commentator. In conclusion, this is a good film. 7/10 Bethany Cox

Disgraced ex-captain of England football team Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan (Vinnie Jones) is thrown in prison for drunkenly assaulting two police officers. Guard Burton tells him that the governor will offer him the job to coach the prison wardens' football team. His men beats him up telling him not to take the job. Lots of prisoners are angry that he threw a game. He befriends smuggler Massive and elderly Doc. He takes on coaching the prisoner's football team with maximum-security prisoner Monk (Jason Statham).

Unlike its American cousins, the humor is not the simple, easy, broad kind. It tries to be darker, energetic grittiness. It's not quite that and it's not quite funny either. This definitely has the Guy Ritchie flavor but director Barry Skolnick doesn't have the same skill level. I would have liked to see Ritchie do the directing himself.