John Luessenhop's Texas Chainsaw 3D is a bad, bad movie. You know this. I know this. Unfortunately the producers and studio that backed this latest incarnation of Tobe Hooper's original genre-creating slasher film ignored what we, the audience, already knew, and decided to milk the franchise-cow for the sixth (and hopefully, final) time.

This new reimagining (as Hollywood likes to call it) starts off promising with archive footage of the original film. That was the first five minutes. After that, the movie spirals into unexplained and implausible territory, asking its audience not only to suspend disbelief, but disregard it completely.

The 2012 version of Texas Chainsaw is a direct sequel of the original, with the prologue taking place in 1974. Vigilantes show up at the infamous Sawyer home where the murders of several young adults literally just happened and proceed to torch it to the ground in a fit of vengeance. Amongst the chaos, a young Sawyer woman with an infant is found hiding in the garage. Then, in a laughably inane act of kindness followed by harsh brutality, one of the vigilantes saves the baby girl and randomly kicks the Sawyer woman square in the face.

If there was anything 2011's The Cabin in the Woods has taught us, it's that ridiculously attractive young adults will always venture out to parts unknown for no reason and behave in ways normal human beings would never agree to in real life given eerie circumstances.

Cut to Heather Mills (starring Alexandra Daddario's midriff and breasts). She finds out she inherited a home in Texas after her previously unknown grandma passed away while simultaneously discovering she's adopted. Usually this would tear at the soul of a normal person, being lied to your entire life by people you thought were your parents, but no. Heather's first instinct is to collect on her inheritance by dragging along her boyfriend, Ryan (Tremaine 'Trey Songz' Neverson),her best friend, Nicole (Tania Raymonde),and Nicole's boy toy (Keram Malicki-Sanchez) on an impromptu road trip. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker named Darryl (Shaun Sipos),apparently to add to the inevitable body count.

Texas Chainsaw fails to mention the time discrepancy as the original film took place in the 1970s and this new film clearly states it's 2012. Heather should be pushing 40, but no bother. In a movie like this, the only thing that matters is the gore, the scantily clad women, and the infamy of the original.

To read the rest of the review (IMDb form too short) visit: http://custodianfilmcritic.com/Texas- chainsaw-3d/

Texas Chainsaw is the latest movie in the long-running series and a film that aims to be a direct sequel to the Tobe Hooper original, pretty much discounting the various others that have come along since. To be honest, these movies have such a gruelling premise that it's difficult to go wrong with them; a premise that screams horror and disturbing imagery all the way, so you'd have to be a really bad filmmaker to screw it up.

This film feels very much like a modern horror movie. It's incredibly fast paced, with action going on all the while; a film filled to the brim with chase scenes, quick-fire dialogue and constant movement. It ups the gore quotient considerably, so that we're subject to bodies being chainsawed in half and the like, while at the same time the genuinely disturbing atmosphere of the first film is long forgotten. It's horrible, but not horrifying. There's something cartoon-like about watching Leatherface on the rampage here.

Unfortunately, the story does take some very silly twists along the way, particularly towards the climax, and the ending is very poor. Not only does it feature a horrible bit of CGI effects work, it mixes up and muddles its morals and features some unbelievable behaviour on the part of the characters. I had the feeling things would turn out this way but it's too abrupt and nonsensical compared to what's come before, the tone is all wrong.

Still, it's not all bad. The cast are young and hip, and give some not-bad performances although they don't really wow you. The person making the least impact is Scott Eastwood; you register him as Clint's son from appearance alone, and certainly not from acting talent. Still, Alexandra Daddario is fine as a potential scream queen and it's nice to see her given the opportunity to shine in a leading role after playing support in the likes of PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF. The direction isn't too bad, and the early scenes tying it into the original work well, but this is light, cheesy and forgettable fluff in the end, nothing more.

This movie starts with the 1974 movie. After Sally escaped, police officer Hooper goes to the Sawyer house and tries to arrest Leatherface. However an angry mob gets to the house and massacres the family instead. One of the mob kidnaps a surviving baby. Years later, that baby is now young Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario). Suddenly she inherits an estate from a grandmother she didn't even know she had. She goes back to Newt Texas with 3 friends (Trey Songz, Tania Raymonde, Keram Malicki-Sánchez) and a hitchhiker (Shaun Sipos). There they encounter Leatherface who's been kept in the basement. Only there are more villains than the chainsaw wielding brute.

There is a flip in this movie. It's tantamount to blasphemy. It's probably why there are so many haters. But I almost feel like it's a badge of honor for a horror movie to flip the accepted view on its head. If you can't destroy the sacred in a horror movie, then where are we going to do it.

The best thing in this movie is Alexandra Daddario. It reminds me why I had her as one of my preferred choice to be Wonder Woman. Now I hate the Gal Gadot selection even more. She holds the movie even better than Jessica Biel. She's super hot. She can act. She has physicality. This is a well acted, well filmed, and an interesting take on the franchise.